


I Know I'll Find the Good Things Too <3

by snowviper



Category: We Are The Tigers - Allen
Genre: Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Cat Cafés, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kate Has Panic Attacks, Minor Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Pillow Fights, Self-Harm, Sleepovers, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25439863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowviper/pseuds/snowviper
Summary: After The Breakdown. Kate and Eva have a sleepover, go on dates, and engage in similar cute shenanigans. Not particularly relevant to the actual plot of We Are The Tigers, it's just pure Kateva in it's gloriousness. There are a handful of minor oc's, mostly surrounding Kate and Eva's family.I have taken all smut chapters down per Preston Max Allen's wishes, and will not be writing any more smut of WATT characters in the future. I encourage everyone to respectfully spread the word that Preston Max Allen does not want explicit content of WATT characters at any age or situation.TW: Swearing, self harm, panic attacks, depressionVery much a work in progress, feedback is requested.
Relationships: Kate/Eva Sanchez (We Are The Tigers)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 80





	1. First Blush

Kate wished she could just relax. Sit down for once and not feel the crushing pain, think without consciously blocking out the fear, the grief.

The day after, she couldn’t think at all. She tried to grasp on to the normal things that were left, but the image of Chess’s blood soaking into Kate’s flannel was always there. Kate wished she had the guts to burn that flannel, then she wouldn’t happen to glance at it in the back of her closet.

The year after, Kate went back to Riley’s house, and there it was. The bench she and Chess had their last conversation, the bench Chess had _died_ on, stained crimson in the crevices where rain couldn’t reach. Kate’s chest tightened, her eyes clouding with tears. Returning here was her attempt at trying to move on, be stronger. For Chess. Everything would be okay this time, Kate would make sure of it.

Well boy, was she wrong. Don’t need anyone to recap what happened that night, she saw all that shit as it went down. It was pretty scarring, (a lot mentally and a little physically) but at least it gave her closure. Kate didn’t have to blame herself for her lack of awareness, her lack of control. She could move on, live her life. Kate had no way of knowing. Plus, she had met Eva there, which was a good thing. A great thing, in fact, although if anyone asked, Kate would like to think she’d probably wouldn’t say anything like that. Not that anyone would care enough to ask, anyone other than Chess.

The way Kate felt when Eva put her hand on her leg that night at the sleepover was something else. Sure, Kate’s leg had just been cut open and Eva had tried to stop the bleeding, but Kate liked to think Eva’s rush to help her was evidence that they had some sort of connection, that Eva had the same crush and feelings towards Kate. Not the most realistic dream, but then again, that’s what dreams are for. Noted, it was not the least realistic dream, as Kate was 99% sure Eva wasn’t straight, so there was that going for her.

Kate could spend hours laying down, just peacefully being able to live in her head, dream and hope and create. She conjured fantasy adventures and action movies, gentle monsters and loving people. A world she wanted to live in. All of that stopped when Chess died, living, breathing worlds falling into burning wastelands. Kate didn’t have time to think anymore, she had to keep moving, keep busy, keep her mind from wandering to what had happened. But now, Kate could think. She could relax and breathe for once. And she didn’t know what to think about.

That’s not true at all, Eva and her cute smile consumed Kate’s every waking thought, but she’d like to deny her feelings. At least until she could scrape up enough courage to ask Eva out.

_Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t know what to say. How would I even ask her? It’s not like I can tell if she likes me back._

_Goddamnit Kate, what are you doing? Wherever that impulsivity problem went, it needs to come back right fucking now, I swear. It’s everywhere else, I just need to channel my confidence here._

_What if I can’t?_

Kate’s regularly scheduled nighttime worry session was interrupted by an obnoxious buzz next to her head. She peered over her shoulder, rolling over on her bed to check on her phone.

Eva: Hey, sorry I know it’s late

Kate reread the message twice over, trying to decipher if there was any hidden meaning or message or flirt behind it, or if the comma was meant to be passive-aggressive.

_Did I do something wrong? Why is she texting me now? You’re reading way too much into this. It’s just a text, get your shit together. You’ve texted her before, you’ve talked to her before. You’ll be fine._

Kate: Hi

K: Need smth?

K: I guess you probably do since you texted me first haha

_Fuck. “haha”? What were you thinking?_ Kate bit down lightly on her inner cheek as she anxiously sat and waited for Eva to respond.

Eva: Nah I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out sometime

E: You don’t have to if you don’t want that’s okay too

_HOLY SHIT. THIS IS HAPPENING. Act normal, you’ve got this. Breathe._

Kate dropped her phone right on her face at that moment. Groaning in annoyance, she fumbled with the lock settings and texted back.

K: Sure!

K: Do you have anything in mind?

E: I was kind of thinking maybe you could over to my place and we could watch something

E: And you could stay the night if you want

E: uh

E: If that’s okay?

Holy fuck, was Kate okay with that. At this point, she noticed the nervous rambling from Eva, but didn’t want to say it was because of romantic feelings. Kate wasn’t really that confident in her ability to identify that. But asking to stay over at her house? That couldn’t’ve been nothing. Even if she wasn’t hands-down-I’ll-give-up-my-soul excited to go it’s not like Kate was doing anything else anyways, as it was winter break, the Thursday after Christmas.

K: I’d love that

K: I’m free any time before New Years

E: Can you do tomorrow then? I know it’s a little short notice, but my family really wants to meet you :D

_She’s talked about me?_ Kate hadn’t blushed this hard in a while. Plus, she thought that the :D face was pretty cute, at least when it came from Eva. _What am I doing? Those things are annoying as hell, why does Eva make a difference?_

K: Lmao don’t worry abt it

K: Friday works for me

E: Friday it is then!

They exchanged addresses and agreed that Eva would drive by to pick up Kate after her shift. After a flustered goodbye, Kate plugged her phone back in the wall and buried her face in her pillow. She wrapped herself in a blanket burrito hug and tried to calm her racing mind, to no avail.

_Eva invited me to her place for the entire night. The entire fucking night. This has to be a dream, right? What else would it be?_

_If this is a dream, I never want to fucking wake up. Ever._

~~~

_Did- did that just happen?_

Eva usually wasn’t the one who made the first move, on the account of her trouble receiving most social cues, but she really just threw caution to the wind this time. Well, the constant pressure from her sister definitely was the driving force, but Eva liked to think she made a step in the right direction.

Eva beamed as bright as the sun, practically jumping over the top bunk of the bed. She nearly knocked the wind out of her older sister, Lena, as she launched herself over onto the bottom bunk.

“This is why I’m scared of heights, dumbass, you’re going to swing over something and knock me off a cliff,” Lena flashed a cheesy grin as Eva playfully bit her lip, thinking.

“That makes absolutely no sense,” Eva laughed, still beaming as bright as the sun, “but that’s like my new life goal now, so you better watch out-” A text tone cut her off, and Eva knew exactly who it was. She hoisted herself over the bed to snatch her phone, standing long enough to check the notification.

Kate: Can’t wait! See you tomorrow <3

Eva swatted her hand over her shoulder, sensing Lena’s face peeking over, before Lena squealed in full fangirl mode. 

“SHE SENT A HEART!!” She turned Eva around and gripped her by the shoulders, “Do you know what this means?!?”

“If I say it’s a casual friendly gesture, what’ll happen?” Eva said, faking a deadpan expression.

“She likes you, Eva! I told you! It’s so obvious, she even complimented you on your rainbow pin, that has to be like a gay mating call, right?” Lena was investing a concerning amount of energy into Eva and Kate becoming a couple, seeing as she hadn’t even met Kate.

“I-I mean I guess?” Eva’s face turned an unnatural shade of red. “It could’ve been my science pin, maybe she really cares about climate change...” 

“AND YOU LIKE HER BACK-” Lena shouted before Eva’s hand covered her mouth, more of a gesture than a physical barrier.

“Shh. Mom’s going to hear us, Lena, it’s almost midnight.” Eva said, frantically waving her hands.

“Even more evidence that Kate likes you back! She responded to you at midnight!” Lena stage-whispered, giggling. _Sometimes, I can’t believe Lena’s a year older than me, she’s got the enthusiasm of a fourth-grader._ Eva, at this point, was as red as a cherry, blushing so much it got to the point where red spread to her neck and ears.

“Text her back! Let her know that you received the heart! C’mon, Eva, you got this.” Lena said, throwing her hands up as much as she could in the cramped space of the bottom bunk.

_What if she just texts like that normally? I’ve only really ever talked to her at school. Sure, I guess we’re pretty close as class friends, but what if she isn’t into me the way I’m into her?_

“Hey, hermit crab, you there?” Lena paused and looked at Eva, concerned.

“Yeah, but what if she doesn’t like me?” Eva mumbled, leaning against the wall.

“You share like five classes, right?”

“Yeah?”

“And she always chooses you for class projects first?

“Yes,” Eva started to tear up a little, “But what if she doesn’t have any other friends and I’m the only-”

“But she _does_ have other people she can work with, you said that yourself the other day.” Lena pulled her into a hug.

“I guess?”

“If you were her and you didn’t like someone, would you always choose them above everyone else?”

“What? I guess not..”

“Then it’s settled, she likes you, and you like her back. Go and text her back already! Go have some gay little babies or something.” Lena pushed Eva off her bunk and went to turn off the light.

“Lena! We’re not going to- what? No!” Eva’s cheeks somehow became redder than they already were as she lifted herself over to her bunk.

“Your face says otherwise. I’m not blind, you idiot.” Lena laughed as she flicked the light off and set an alarm for the morning.

“I-I… what?” Eva spat out, not really knowing how to respond. _Change the subject._ “Wait, why are you setting an alarm? It’s winter break.”

“You don’t want to sleep in until noon on the day your girlfriend is _staying the night,_ do you?” Eva could hear Lena’s smirk from below her.

“She’s- she’s not my girlfriend..” Eva sighed as she rolled onto her side, trying to swat away the perpetual state of blush she now found herself in, “And why’d you say it like that?”

“Because you like her and she likes you, and you totally both get horny and think about each other late at night.”

“LENA, WHAT THE FUCK.” Eva buried her face in her pillow and sighed.

“Knew it.”

“Okay, goodnight, I’m sleeping now.” Eva flipped onto her back and took a deep breath.

“Have fun thinking about your _girlfriend~_ ” Lena sang, taunting her.

“Lena.” Eva sighed as she opened her phone and winced at the brightness, turning it down. _Texting back shows you care, right? Let’s hope so._ She stared at their conversation, deciding casual was probably the safest bet.

Kate: Can’t wait! See you tomorrow <3

Eva:

“Add a heart-”

“Yes, okay, fine, I’ll add a heart, Jesus Christ.” 

K: Can’t wait! See you tomorrow <3

E: Bye! See you <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! This is my first fanfiction, so I would appreciate feedback if you had some. I would also like to know plot ideas or cute date requests for Kate and Eva, as my brain can only come up with so much on its own. Thanks!


	2. First Kiss

Kate was _ecstatic._ At this point, she didn’t care if her feelings didn’t fit her usual mood or the “art/skater lesbian” vibe she usually was going for, she was goddamn gay as all fucking hell and not even Annliegh could pray that shit away.

_Calm down, Kate, you and Eva aren’t dating or anything, it’s just a sleepover._

Part of her wanted to laugh, she didn’t even know what “just a sleepover” would be, but Kate decided that maniacal cackling at seven in the morning probably wasn’t the nicest thing to wake up to. Maybe not so much maniacal cackling as flustered giggling, but all the same.

Kate jumped out of bed, almost skipping out of her room before she remembered her older brother, Jamie, was sleeping in his old room right next to hers, as he was here for winter break. Kate didn’t have that much time with him before he left to go back to college, but she figured the sleepover plans were higher priority. After getting dressed, packing, and trying to remember how hair functions when you try to curl it, she went downstairs and sat down on her massive bean bag chair, doodling in her sketchbook.

_I should eat lunch before I go, shouldn’t I? Oh fuck, does Eva know I can’t eat gluten?_ She texted Eva to check. _Oh good. It would’ve been pretty awkward if she didn’t. Now what do I eat?_ Kate stared vacantly at the open fridge. _What to start with? An orange? Sure, why not._

She took an orange out of the fridge and haphazardly peeled it, trying not to get an excessive amount of the rind under her fingernails. After finding and eating her lunch (and washing her hands, because hygiene) she grabbed her phone and sat on the bean bag chair, trying to quell her excitement as she waited for Eva to arrive. Her cat, Muffin, jumped on her lap, meowing.

“Oh, that’s right, it’s my turn to feed you lunch, isn’t it?” Kate scratched behind his ears and got up, refilling Muffin’s food and water bowls. _Since Jamie’s home, he has to clean the litter box tonight. Ha, sucks to be him._

At that moment, she heard Jamie stumbling down the stairs in his usual fashion, seeing him round the corner and walk into the kitchen. _Speak of the devil, let’s hope he doesn’t drag me into one of his nerd games last minute._

“Hey, KitKat.” Jamie said, waving his hand in her general area and turning to open the fridge door. “Where’s the milk in this godforsaken vortex of a fridge?” He mumbled, staring at it with visible difficulty.

“Maybe you should get your glasses.” Kate laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the fridge. She took the milk that was right in front and handed it to him.

“Lucky you, getting the nice eye genes. Thanks.” Jamie said as he received the milk, flashing a smile. He closed the fridge behind him and began to pour himself a glass.

“For all you know, that milk could be white poison or something.” Kate said, picking up Muffin so that he wouldn’t try drinking it.

“I’ll take my chances.” Jamie tried to push up the glasses that were currently not on his face.

“Pffft. Okay. Enjoy your cow juice.” Kate grabbed her bag from the stairs and moved it over with her into the office, hearing Jamie yelp as he tried to protect his drink from Muffin. When she entered, her dad, who was typing away at his laptop, swiveled around to see her.

“Hey, Dad. When should I be back from Eva’s tomorrow?” Kate said, grabbing some pencils and a sketchbook from the office and putting them in her bag.

“We’re pretty flexible, any time before dinner is fine.” He smiled sweetly, and Kate frowned in worry. He looked even more tired than usual, heavy bags under his eyes.

_It’s Christmas time, he probably just has a lot of things on his plate._

“Okay, thanks.”

Kate almost jumped when the doorbell rang, and rushed over to open the door. She was greeted by a very awkward (and absolutely adorable) Eva.

“Hey!” Kate motioned for Eva to come in, and peeked around the entryway to grab her bag from the office.

“Hey, sorry, I’m a bit early.” Eva said, fiddling with her pizza uniform.

“Honestly, I think I would’ve died from anticipation, so I don’t mind...” Kate noticed Eva’s cheeks turn bright red from her comment and nervously laughed, “I was almost going to order a pizza to get you to come sooner.”

“Yeah, but I bet you’d tip pretty bad though.”

“Depends on what you bring.” Kate winked. _Did I just do that? How did..? What? Roll with it, I guess._

They both burst out laughing, walking outside. Kate’s dad walked over to the door and said, waving, “Bye! Make sure to brush your teeth, and for the love of god, say thank you, you’re the guest. Oh, _and,_ make sure you both give enthusiastic consent-”

“DAD.” Kate closed and locked the door before he could say anything else, hearing her dad and brother’s laughter echo through it. She blushed as they walked side by side down the driveway to Eva’s car, both of them giggling in embarrassment. The car _definitely_ wasn’t something that would turn heads, but at this point, Kate was too busy trying not to stare at Eva’s lips to want to care about it.

_She’s so fucking cute, shit, I think I’ll just curl up in a ball and die happy now._

_~~~_

_Holy fuck, Kate’s hot. Like really, really hot. Stop it, Eva, you need to focus on the road._

Eva was nervously gripping the steering wheel, trying to keep her constant blushing on the down-low as she drove home. She wasn’t doing very well in that department, and she knew it from the way Kate looked back at her, but Eva knew that not becoming flustered when Kate was around was nearly impossible.

“So, you said something about your family wanting to meet me?” Kate leaned back in the passenger seat, looking over for what felt like the billionth time.

“Yeah, my sister especially, I’m pretty sure she has a Tumblr blog dedicated to shipping us.” Eva went to scratch the back of her head, a nervous habit, but stopped herself in order to hold on to the wheel.

“That’s dedication, I can roll with it.” Kate laughed.

“I don’t know what kind of content she would even put there, she hasn’t even met you.”

“That’s a very good point, but it only shows how incredibly creative a person can be in the case of die-hard shipping.”

“Fair enough, I think she’s going to explode when she meets you, though, so be prepared for that.” Eva turned into the driveway of her mom’s auto repair shop, which also expanded into their home. She turned the key, the car sputtering as it turned off. “We’re here! I know it’s not much, but...” Eva trailed off, looking down. _Why did I think this was a good idea? So many things could go wrong._

Kate put her hand on Eva’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay, really. All I want is to spend time with _you_.” Eva looked at her and Kate stared back, and glancing down at Kate’s lips, Eva’s breath hitched.

Eva didn’t really register how it happened, but she leaned forward, her lips hesitantly meeting Kate’s. The greatest feeling flooded through Eva when she found that Kate was kissing _back_.

”Fuck.” Kate said as they broke apart, giggling like middle schoolers, “I was going to do that first, goddamnit.”

“Sorry, sorry, we can redo it if you want..?” Eva was bright red at this point, something that didn’t surprise her given the situation.

Kate shifted in her seat to hold Eva and kissed her firmly on the lips. It was a lot less careful this time, a lot less restrained, and Eva felt relaxed in Kate’s arms, her worries swept away.

Of course, she realized that Lena was probably going to notice them in the car soon, and Eva did _not_ want Lena to pass out from sheer excitement. Although the attention would be kind of fun, Eva decided that she didn’t want to purposely start that up.

After a minute, Eva gently pulled away from the kiss, much to Kate’s audible dismay, biting her lip and whining. (Eva found it absolutely _adorable._ ) Eva clamored out of the car, locking it with a satisfying _beep_ when Kate stepped out. _Combat boots with heels? Damn, and I thought she couldn’t get any hotter._

Walking to the storefront door, Eva opened it and motioned for Kate to go in first, trying not to laugh when Kate did a slight curtsy in response. Kate almost tripped over the door frame, Eva catching her with her arm, and Eva almost tripped after when she kissed her as thanks.

The shop was relatively empty, as it was a bit after lunch, but their adorable gay exchange was not missed by the one and only Lena, who was working the desk that afternoon. She stared at them with wide eyes, breaking into a grin and practically vaulting the desk to meet them.

“Hi! You must be Kate!” Lena gave her an enthusiastic hug, something that Kate was clearly not used to, “It’s so great to meet you! Eva has said so much.” Kate gave a polite smile back, clearly overwhelmed by Lena’s energy.

“Lena, please calm down a little.” Eva said, frantically trying to signal for her to stop.

“Ah, okay, uh. Sorry, sorry. I’m Lena, Eva’s sister.” She stepped back and gave Kate some personal space, shaking hands with her instead.

“Kate! Nice to meet you.” Kate replied, stepping out of the doorway to let Eva inside.

Lena turned to Eva as she walked further inside, playfully punching her on the arm. “You got yourself a cute girl! This is a momentous occasion!” Lena gasped, putting her hands up and jumping on Eva’s back, “I HAVE TO POST ABOUT THIS ON THE BLOG.” Eva wheezed from the sudden weight. _This is the reason I’m a flyer, oh my god, I’m an absolute twig._

Kate burst out laughing, putting her hand down onto the counter, “Wait, you _actually_ have a blog?!?”

Lena beamed and nodded as Eva turned red, swatting Lena off and away before she could get the chance to say something risque.

“That’s fucking awesome. What’s your handle?” Kate was laughing her ass off at this point as she and Lena exchanged contact info, almost causing Eva to facepalm.

After they were done, Lena went behind the desk, leaving them free to enter. “Here, let’s go upstairs.” Eva went over to the back door and motioned for Kate to follow, Lena enthusiastically waving them goodbye.

“Have fun with your girlfriend!” Lena yelled, propping herself up onto the desk so she could see them leave.

_Oh boy, tonight’s going to be an adventure with Lena around._

~~~

_Wow, Eva wasn’t kidding about her sister. She seems nice, though._

Kate followed Eva as they walked up the cramped entryway stairs, the sound of a motor running downstairs filling the momentary silence. They reached the top, walking into the kitchen.

“So, do you want something to drink? We don’t really have much, but if you want tea or coffee…” Eva scratched the back of her head, smiling.

_Fuck, she’s so cute._

After a pause, Kate finally registered what Eva had said. “Oh! No thanks, I’m good. Did you have anything specific in mind that you wanted to watch?” Kate asked, fiddling with the bracelet on her left wrist.

“I mean, I watch a lot of Netflix, so I can sort of go with anything, although I thought Into the Spider-Verse looked pretty cool!” Eva gushed about what she had seen about the movie when it was first released, causing her to go on a completely unrelated side tangent about how the bodies of water affect the movement of wind.

_Eva really loves climatology, doesn’t she? Maybe I should pay more attention at school, the fact that I don’t get half of this probably isn’t the best sign. I should ask Eva to explain it to me when I get the chance._

Eventually, Kate and Eva both sat down and began watching Spider-Man. A while into the movie Eva wrapped her hands around Kate’s waist, gently leaning on her shoulder. Kate nearly squeaked in surprise, opting instead to lean back against Eva, running her fingers through her hair. They sat there snuggling for the entire rest of the movie, Kate sneaking a few kisses once in a while, causing Eva to, predictably, blush like mad every single time.

After the movie finished and Eva turned off the TV, they sat in each other’s arms for a few minutes. Kate realized that she had to go to the bathroom, causing Eva to get up and lead her there. Eva went over to the room across from it, which Kate presumed was her bedroom.

Having some alone time, Kate took a bit to try and calm herself down, both from her anxiety and, well, something else.

_Should I..? Fuck no, Kate, get your head on straight, (Heh, straight. Seriously?) you can’t do that here. Why would you even think of that? What the fuck?_

Shaking off the feeling, Kate washed her hands and exited the bathroom, trying desperately to push back the intrusive thoughts that were plaguing her head.

_Did you get bitten by the fucking hornbug or something? Get your shit together._

~~~

_I don’t think anyone could come to the conclusion that we’re just friends at this point. So Kate likes me back, right? Oh, I should change out of my work clothes, I completely forgot._

After she led Kate to the bathroom, she took off her pizza uniform’s hat, walking over to the door to her room.

“Yeah, if you need anything, I’ll just be in here.” Eva awkwardly shuffled past Kate, walking to her bedroom, closing the door, and taking off her denim jacket. Eva shook her head, blushing furiously, the twinge between her thighs becoming a little hard to ignore.

_Now is not the time, Eva, c’mon, just change already._

_~~~_

_Oh shit, my lips are really dry. How? Doesn’t really matter at this point. Did I bring chapstick? I don’t think I did._

She tried to stop herself from licking her lips, walking over to the sink. Kate briefly scanned the countertop.

_Nope, nothing here. I’ll just go ask Eva, I guess. I hope she’s done changing by now_ _._

“Hey, Eva, do you have-” Kate opened the door and froze when she saw that Eva was _definitely_ not done changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you for all the nice comments, they are very much appreciated! (And frankly, give me more motivation to write this, not that I needed more to begin with)
> 
> Feedback and cute couple ideas are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Thanks :3


	3. First Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implication of self-harm, panic attack

It was more of a shock than anything else, the same amount of skin probably would’ve been shown with a bathing suit. But there Eva was, awkwardly fumbling with her clothes as Kate opened the door. _Oh no, oh no, oh no. Look away, dumbass, you don’t want to make her uncomfortable._

Kate closed the door, shouting a mix of panicked cuss words and frantic apologies. Blood rushed to her cheeks, almost burning them, and Kate leaned against the wall, trying to push down her anxiety, which was quickly becoming out of control. She gasped for air, leaning down and clutching her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks as her hands and legs started to shake.

_Fuck. I can’t. No, not now. Stop. Fuck._

“Kate, are you okay?” Eva said through the door, clearly concerned, “I’m dressed now, it’s okay, you can come in. Kate?” The door opened and Eva rushed over, scooping Kate into her arms, albeit with a little difficulty. Eva sat her down on the bottom bunk and wrapped herself around a now trembling Kate, who was sputtering, coughing into Eva’s arms.

Eva murmured into Kate’s ear, “Hey, _hey,_ it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m going to breathe slowly, try to copy me. Listen to my heartbeat.” Kate tried to follow what she was saying, trying to ground herself, eventually calming down enough to talk.

“I’m _really_ sorry, Eva, I don’t know what’s gotten into me I-” Kate gasped for air, sobbing, “Fuck, I’m sorry. I just cried all over your shirt.”

“It’s just tears, Kate, I’ll be fine. Everything’s going to be okay. Here, do you want a tissue?” Kate nodded, relaxing her muscles, trying to release some tension left in her body. “I’ll get you some water, too.” Eva gave Kate a small kiss on the cheek, handing the tissue box to her. Kate grabbed some tissues and wiped the salty tears off her cheeks, taking some and blowing her nose, before throwing them into the trash can by the desk.

Eva walked back with a mug of water, handing it to Kate and sitting down next to her. Kate sighed and took a large sip, leaning against Eva as she began to rub her back as comfort. 

After a few minutes, Kate found herself grounded enough to speak. “Thanks. You really helped.” Kate looked up at Eva, smiling, before taking another sip of water.

“It’s nothing, really. I’m just glad to see that you’re feeling better now. Do you need anything else?” Eva wrapped her arms around Kate again, this time pulling her into a comfy cuddling position.

Kate finished her water, putting it on the desk, and leaned into Eva, letting her play with her now tousled hair. “Mmmph. I dunno. You single?”

“Yes, I’m single. Why, did you want to change that?” Eva laughed, gently nudging out Kate’s hair tie.

Trying not to bump her head on the top bunk, Kate shifted around to face Eva. After a brief pause, Kate murmured, “Yes, be my girlfriend.”

“Wow, not even asking, love that delivery.” Eva laughed, moving Kate’s hair forward over her shoulders, before responding, “Okay, I’ll be your girlfriend as long as you’ll be mine.”

Kate laughed back, “Deal. I get to kiss you now.” She shifted her weight so Eva fell back onto the bed.

“I’m definitely on board with that.” Eva smiled, now lying under Kate, who was on her elbows, hair was drooping down to cover both of their faces.

They kissed, Eva’s arms reaching to pull Kate closer. Kate shifted to her knees and arched her back, catching her breath for a second, before pulling lightly on Eva’s hair and moving to her exposed neck. She began lightly kissing down onto Eva’s collarbone, before feeling Eva’s hands wander under Kate’s shirt.

_Shit. Fuck. She can’t feel them, right? It’s been a while, they’ve healed by now. Still, I don’t know if I’m ready for all this._

Kate pulled back from Eva, voice shaking, “Can we stop for now? Sorry, I’m just nervous.” Eva immediately took her hands off of Kate, blushing hard in embarrassment. She swung her legs out from the bunk bed, scooting over so Eva could sit up next to her.

“Yeah, of course.” Eva nodded, clasping her hands together, “It’s totally okay, you don’t have to apologize for it, trust me.” Eva smiled, “It’s my fault, sorry for not asking about it first.”

“No, no, you didn’t know, it’s okay.” Kate smiled back, hugging Eva and giving her a quick peck on the cheek. “We’ll talk about it later. What’s the plan for dinner?” Kate scooted to the side of the bed, trying not to hit her head on the top bunk as she stood up. She looked around and grabbed the vaseline on the side of the desk, using it to finally moisturize her lips.

“Hmmm. I don’t actually know, but Mom she’d make sure to make something without gluten. Otherwise, you’d have to ask her.”

“Oh, that’s really nice of her. I want to help if I can.” Kate said, scooting forward to grab her empty mug off the desk.

“Here, let’s go ask.” Eva held Kate’s hand as they went out of the room, towards the stairs.

_Fuck, now I’m nervous again. I brought my meds, right? I think so._

~~~

_I hope Kate likes Mom. Who I am kidding, everyone likes her. Shit, I hope Mom likes Kate, I didn’t really think of that._

Eva and Kate went back down the cramped stairwell, back to where Lena was, helping people at the service desk. She waved to them, smiling while talking on the phone. Eva opened the door to the shop, letting Kate step through first. They were greeted by Eva’s mother, who was buffing out the scratches on the back of a sedan.

“Hey, hermit crab! How are you?” She smiled, her eyes lighting up, “Want to introduce me to your date?” Eva’s mom threw the rag she was using over to the bin in the corner, wiping her hands on her overalls.

“Mom!”

“Oh, sorry, try to _not_ be embarrassing, right.”

“MOM.” Eva sighed. _Could be worse, I guess._ “I-um. Mom, this is Kate.” Eva awkwardly turned back, “Yeah. I don’t know what I’m really doing, sorry.”

Eva’s mom giggled, clearly entertained by Eva’s flustered demeanor. She walked up to Kate, holding out her hand to shake. She glanced down, towering over her and giving Kate a look that very clearly said; _If you break my child’s heart, I will hunt you down in the middle of the night and hit you with la chancla,_ patting a now bewildered Kate on the shoulder as they shook hands. Walking over to Eva, her mom said, “Well, if you’re happy, I’m happy, sweetie.” She gave Eva a tight hug, her arms almost crushing the air out of her.

Eva buried her face in her hands, walking over, Kate laughing at their exchange.

_Kate’s laugh is so cute._

“Oh, right, what’s for dinner?” Eva turned back, looking at her mother, who was now starting to clean up shop for the day.

“Spanish tortilla. Do you want it with peppers? I know you don’t like them all that much.” Eva’s mom ushered them out and flicked off the light in the garage, locking the door behind them.

Her mother went to prep ingredients while Kate and Eva set up the table. After finishing, Eva and Kate went back to Eva’s room, reading part of the book Kate had brought. It was in the middle of the book, though, so Kate had to explain the entirety of the plot, often sidetracking to random things, and they had to stop halfway through Kate’s explanation to go to dinner.

_That was nice. Although I kind of feel bad, Kate’s done all the work at this point, I should do something to make her happy._

~~~

_This Spanish omelette thing is so fucking good. So. Fucking. Good._

Kate polished what she had on her plate, going up to the counter to get another serving.

“Thank you so much, Ms. Sanchez, this is delicious!”Kate turned her head over to Eva’s mom as she grabbed another slice, walking back to the table.

“Anytime, sweetheart, let me know if you need anything else.” She cracked a warm smile before looking over and briefly scolding Lena for having her phone at the table.

They all polished off their dinner, Lena and Eva’s mom going back down the stairs to work, leaving Eva and Kate to clean what little dishes were left.

Although Kate wanted to help, the kitchen wasn’t really big enough for more than one person to clean up, and Eva ended up taking the brunt of the work. Eva finished a while later, and they both went back to Eva’s room. Lena had packed up the things she needed for the night over to the couch, leaving Kate free to take the bottom bunk for the night. The room was all to themselves.

“So, you said you wanted to talk later. Is now later?” Eva closed the door behind Kate as she walked in, scratching the back of her head.

“Oh. I mean, I’m not really sure what exactly to talk about, I haven’t really done anything before.” Kate said, taking Eva’s hands into hers. _But goddamn, I want my first time to be with you._

Kate leaned forward and gave Eva a quick peck on the lips, who turned bright red, (as expected) and started stuttering.

“Pfft. You’re so cute.” Kate smirked, grabbing her bag from where she had placed it on the bed and fishing out her phone charger.

“I mean, honestly, you’re way cuter than I could ever be.” Eva mumbled under her breath, still audible over the now obnoxious buzzing of the light above them.

“Ha, prove it, bitch. If my grades were as high as you are adorable, I would be at Harvard right now.”

“Oh, thanks, um. I dunno, uh, you’re so hot, that the air around you has risen to heaven?”

“I actually got that one for once, but you gotta work on your confidence, babe.”

Eva turned the darkest shade of red, putting her hands up to cover her face. Kate laughed, pulling Eva into her arms, “Here, what makes you feel confident? Two inch platform boots? Lingerie? Talking about feelings?”

Eva turned even redder at Kate’s mention of lingerie, enough that it got to the point where Kate was tempted to ask if Eva could breathe.

“I mean, I guess it’s really not that weird, but…” Eva lifted her face from her hands, obviously trying to not make eye contact.

“Well, less room for judgement then.” Kate laughed, fiddling with Eva’s hoop earrings.

“I guess I like it when I feel valued? And like, appreciated. But I also feel really happy when you’re happy, so both are nice. Also, um.” Eva paused, cheeks reverting back to bright red, “I really want to make you feel good, like, you know. But I’m kind of scared.” She trailed off, burying her face in Kate’s arms.

_Fuck, I screwed this up, didn’t I?_ “Hey, if you’re not comfortable, we don’t have to talk about this.”

“It’s not that, I just don’t really know what to say or how to say it.”

“I mean, we could probably look at a quiz on the internet for this shit.” Kate shrugged.

“Okay. That sounds good. Yeah.” Eva looked up at her, smiling.

Kate rummaged in her bag and took out her laptop, Eva leaning against her like a chair as she went to private mode and typed some things into the search bar. She eventually came across a couples quiz that looked pretty promising, and gave the laptop to Eva. Scooting back and opening her book, she gave her some privacy.

After a bit of silence, sometimes interrupted by a motor downstairs or the click of a mouse, Eva finished, and nudged the computer back onto Kate’s lap to finish her half of the quiz. Kate turned to lean against the wall flush to the bunk bed, looking at the questions.

_Oh boy, this is going to be interesting._ Kate swallowed, shifting her legs so that they crossed over one another. She shivered with arousal, glancing up. Eva looked up from her phone.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just need a sec.” Eva nodded and Kate leaned over to reach her bag, taking out whatever type of anxiety medication her doctor had prescribed her this month. _It’s not working perfectly, obviously, but I should take one now so I don’t forget and die inside or something._ She took a pill out and swallowed it dry, trying to tear her mind away from the mental association with Chess.

Focusing back on the quiz, she began to read through it, trying to answer as truthfully as she could. Some of the questions made Kate’s cheeks twinge red and electricity to shoot up her spine, forcing her to pause and focus on breathing for a minute before going back. _Shit, am I going to associate breathing with being horny now? Is that a thing? Hope not._ She shook her head, looking back at her laptop screen.

Trying to push that to the back of her mind, Kate finished the quiz in a few minutes, although it felt like hours. After she was done, Kate moved over to sit and snuggle into Eva, clicking the result button and waiting for the shitty website to load the next page. _What if I accidentally clicked all the opposite answers from what I meant? That would be so fucking awkward. I’m probably too paranoid to do that, though._

When the screen finally loaded, at first glance, the results didn’t really surprise her. What did surprise her was the wave of heat that rushed between her legs, which was strong enough that she had to hold her breath to stop herself from instinctively grinding against Eva’s leg, which Kate was clinging onto like a koala.

“Well, fuck me.”

“That’s the whole point, Eva.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha you thought there was going to be smut? Don't worry, next chapter.
> 
> Thank you all. :3  
> As always, feedback and ideas requested.
> 
> -Snow


	4. First Night

Kate was calm. For once in her life, her mind wasn’t constantly racing with anything and everything that could go wrong, because everything that she had been worrying about had gone by almost as perfectly as it could. Arms wrapped around Eva, Kate snuggled into her, wrapping the comforter around both of them and reaching to hold hands. She was in pure bliss, bundled in warmth and basking in the afterglow, and she wanted it to stay that way for as long as possible.

“Mmmph- you’re really fucking cute, Eva.” Kate moved up to kiss down Eva’s neck, giggling when Eva squaked, rolling over to face her.

“What prompted this?” Eva asked, pulling Eva into a cuddle hug, “Also, for the record, you’re cuter.”

“No, you’re cute as hell, don’t try and deny it.”

“Just because I’m cute as hell doesn’t mean you can’t be cuter. Plus, even _if_ I were cuter than you, you’re much sexier.” Eva gave Kate a quick peck on the lips, Kate beaming in response.

_Did she just say I was sexy?!?_ Kate’s mind raced, and if she had the blushing tendencies of her girlfriend, she would be as bright as a tomato. Wrapping her legs around Eva’s, Kate kissed her, and it felt as magical as their first. Sweet and very, very gay, with a healthy dose of sexual tension.

“Have I done the impossible? Has the stubborn persistence of the once and only Kate ceased?” Eva giggled, giving her a quick peck again.

“Oh, shut up.” Kate tried to swat Eva away, blushing like mad.

“I _have!_ Kate, the one and only, has run out of sarcastic comebacks-” Eva was abruptly interrupted as Kate grabbed her face and kissed her, rough and sloppy, breaking away to breathe every few minutes.

After the second time they paused to breathe, Kate booped Eva’s nose, burrowing down into the blanket burrito. “I have _ESCAPED._ ” Kate laughed, muffled by the comforter.

“Fair enough. Yes, you have escaped, but I won’t go easy on you!” Eva cackled like a crazy evil witch, which Kate thought was fairly impressive given what she knew about her. Kate burst out into struggling laughter as Eva tickled her, showing no remorse. Flinging the blanket off, Kate tried to pull Eva’s hands off of her stomach and neck.

“Ah! Fuck-” Kate rolled over, giggling and writhing as Eva continued. Eventually, Eva trapped Kate in her arms, pulling the blanket back on top of them.

“Gotcha~” Eva sang, nibbling on Kate’s earlobe.

“Fine, you win, jeez.” Kate scoffed, trying to turn her head and pull away, which didn’t work as well as it could’ve, as Eva had become the big spoon.

After spending a few minutes being held and coddled by her girlfriend, Kate sat up, stumbling around in the dark, eventually grabbing her bag from the corner and fishing out her laptop. _Probably should’ve done this before we had sex, but oh well. Oh my fucking god, we had sex._

“Whatcha doin’?” Eva sat up next to her, swinging her legs over to give her some space.

“Oh, yeah. I forget things sometimes, so I kinda wanted to ask you a shit ton of random questions and write down the answers.” Kate shrugged, squinting at the computer screen, which was very bright in the absolute darkness of the room. Sighing, she flicked the light back on, wincing from the sudden flash.

“Oh, okay, cool.” Eva snuggled up next to her, lying her head down on Kate’s lap.

_God, she’s so adorable, I’m the luckiest person alive, even if we break up in, like, a week. Luckiest person ever._

~~~

_Wow, I didn’t realize how many questions existed. Kate is extremely thorough._

Eva answered Kate’s arsenal of questions, watching Kate gush about how she really liked green, how fuzzy blankets were the warmest, how walking along the beach as the sun set would be great for inspiration, (and not to mention, _super_ romantic) and Eva was mesmerized by the smile dancing across her lips, the way her cheeks glowed with passion and heartfelt content. _It’s good to see Kate happy, but she probably doesn’t show this side of her often, does she? Not since her friend was murdered by Riley._

“-and for some reason, cacti really scare me. Like, is this one spiky or fuzzy? Do I want to touch it and see? I’m not sure.” Eva came back to focus on what Kate was saying, thankfully not missing a question. “Anyways, what’s your favorite type of plant? Sorry, got a little sidetracked.”

“It’s fine, really. I do that all the time.” Eva scratched the back of her head, laughing, “I like flowers, honestly. Like tulips and roses mostly, but anything that smells nice is good in my book.”

“Oh! Cool,” Eva watched as Kate typed on the keyboard of her laptop, before continuing, “Yeah, flowers are nice.”

“Wait, sorry, I just have to ask,” Eva sat up, blushing.

“What is it?”

“Do you have a lisp or something? I feel like your s’s sound a bit different.” Eva covered her face with her hands, “Sorry, this is kinda awkward.”

“Oh, you didn’t do anything wrong, Eva. Really, it’s okay.” Kate turned to face her, closing her laptop and putting it to the side. “Yeah, I’m not exactly sure, but I do, like, hiss my s’s or something when I’m angry. Or excited, I guess? It’s probably a bad habit or something.” Kate looked puzzled, like she was trying to decipher her voice.

“It’s cute,” Eva said, watching Kate awkwardly mumble in response. “And even if I didn’t think it was, you shouldn’t change it to make me happy.”

Eva watched Kate blush, giggling a bit before she said, “You’re too nice for your own good. Seriously, why are you such a precious bean?”

“I dunno. Maybe it’s all the amazing kisses you’ve given me?” Eva leaned forward, smiling as Kate gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, shut up, you’re going to make me horny again.” Laughing, Kate leaned forward to kiss Eva’s other cheek.

“Again? You’re not in a constant state of horny suffering all the time?”

“Don’t expose me like this, Eva,” Kate whined, fiddling with the waistband of her sweatpants, “I’m going to have to throw your cute butt in jail, we can’t let anyone know that I’m a fucking teenager and have feelings!”

“Sorry, sorry. Please don’t throw my butt in prison.”

“Your _cute_ butt.” Kate emphasized, pawed the collar of Eva’s shirt, laughing.

“My bad.” Smiling and laughing with her, Eva bumped noses with Kate. _She thinks my butt is cute?!? When has she had the chance to even look at my butt?_

They spent a large portion of the night talking and flirting, pausing to snuggle a bit, (and let’s be real, make out) before Kate dozed off in Eva’s arms, sighing and muttering in her sleep. She waited until Kate was asleep before slipping out from beside her, giving her a kiss on the forehead as she turned back to pull the blanket back over. Flicking the light off and climbing up to the top bunk, Eva pulled her comforter over her, which was a little cold, admittedly, from the lack of contact, and drifted off, thinking about everything that had happened, trying not to think about what would happen when Kate went back home.

~~~

_I fucking hate those._

_Because her bag had one, because- because your jacket had one, I don’t know._

_No._

_Shut up. I did what I could._

_I said, shut up-_

_“Kate, take a walk.” She pointed to the door and stepped closer. Kate flinched. “Take a walk, Kate.”_

She woke up in the middle of the night, her mind fuzzy and heart racing as she stared into the darkness of the room. _Eva- Where’s Eva?_ Swinging her legs out, Kate hoisted herself over the top bunk, barely making out the silhouette of her girlfriend, sleeping peacefully. She breathed a sigh of relief, slumping back down onto the bottom bunk, head in her hands. _Fuck. What happened?_ Laying down, Kate closed her eyes, forcing herself to fall back into the depths of her crowded, hollow mind.

Kate shot up at the sound of a motor, groaning when she hit her head on the top bunk. The sound was from the shop downstairs. Looking around, she felt cramped in the bedroom, which the bed couldn’t really fit comfortably in, let alone the desk and trash can on the other side. It was probably half the size of a college dorm room, and the old bunk bed pressing close to the ceiling wasn’t making it any larger. _Shit, Eva has to sleep up there?_ Kate felt kinda guilty, she and her siblings had each been given a separate bedroom for their whole lives, which, looking at the size of the rest of Eva’s place, were each individually probably the size of the living room and kitchen combined.

Standing up, she checked for Eva before opening the door, walking out to find her stumbling out of the bathroom.

“Morning. Tea?” Eva yawned, clearly having just woken up a few minutes before.

“If you’re having some, sure.” Kate smiled, rubbing her eyes.

They walked out to the living room, finding Lena eating leftover Spanish tortilla on the kitchen counter.

“Hey nerd.”

“You’re more of a nerd than I am, with your D&D campaigns and shit.” Eva laughed, Kate moving out of the way so she could access the tea.

“No, no. I’m a _geek,_ _you’re_ a nerd _._ Big difference.”

“Uh huh. Any more of those leftovers?” Eva yawned again, and Kate had to stop herself from following suit.

“Yeah, there’s a few pieces left.” Lena grabbed her plate and moved over to the table, making space for Eva in the kitchen.

After grabbing leftovers and tea for breakfast, they sat down next to Lena, who was drinking a tall bottle of water as she listened to them talk.

_This Spanish tortilla is so fucking good, even the day after, it’s so great. How did I survive without this?_

~~~

_Lena was right, I’m totally nerding out right now, aren’t I?_

“The best thing is to get readings on humidity, I hike around the forest in the summer for hours, and it’s super hot, but it’s _awesome._ There’s so many blackberries later in the summer, and there’s salmonberries and thimbleberries a little before that, so less thorns there.” Eva loved hiking, nature was beautiful, and given the opportunity, she would probably go camping for several months a year.

“Mmmph, you’re cute when you’re passionate.” Eva blushed like mad as Kate kissed her on the cheek, standing up to put her dishes on the kitchen counter. “I’m going to go to the bathroom, be right back.”

Lena, squealing from the absolutely adorable exchange, sprang up onto the table, giggling, “So, how’d last night go?” Eva resisted the urge to facepalm as Lena wiggled her eyebrows.

“It was nice, I-”

“What’d you two do~”

“Nothing.” Eva got up and brushed herself off, almost by instinct, before going over to clean the dishes.

“Ok, ok, what base did you get to?” Lena jumped up after her, scooping up their plates before Eva could change the subject.

“I’m not going to answer that.” Crossing her arms, Eva blushed, trying to hide it as best as she could.

“C’mon, tell me, please?”

“Oh my god, Lena.”

“Hey, this is what you did the first time I brought a guy home, It’s only fair I get to ask too.”

“Ask Kate, if you really want to know.” As Eva said this, Lena rushed over to Kate, who had just walked back to the living room. “No, I didn’t _actually mean-_ ugh, fine, go ahead.”

“What the fuck did you tell Lena, babe, I think she’s going to fly out a window.” Kate laughed, seeing Lena bounce from toe to toe, giggling.

“So, Eva’s too embarrassed to actually answer this, because she’s a fucking wuss-”

“Hey! I am _not_ a wuss, I just don’t want to invade Kate’s right to privacy-”

“Yeah, see, fucking wuss.” Lena waved her hand back over to Eva, who broke out laughing in response. She turned to Kate, “What base did you two get to?”

“Oh, all the way. Eva’s an animal.” Eva turned a deep shade of red as Kate turned to wink at her, trying not to laugh as Lena immediately began texting one of her friends back.

“Ha! James owes me twenty bucks now.”

“You bet twenty dollars on that?” Eva laughed, almost jumping as Kate slipped her hand into hers, intertwining their fingers.

“‘Go big or go home’ is my seldom used philosophy, of course I did! Now go have fun, I’ll get the dishes.”

“Thanks, Lena.” Eva yelped as Kate pulled her back into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

~~~

After they had eaten breakfast, Kate asked Eva questions again, (and they kissed, seriously, most of their time was spent making out) Eva being painfully cute whenever Kate tried to compliment her. Eventually, they both got hungry, so Eva fished out things from the fridge for sandwiches, and they ate lunch. As they were snuggling and watching a movie on the couch, before Kate’s phone timer went off. Kate took a second to think of why, and then she froze.

_Shit._

“Goodness, why are your hands so cold? Oh, what’s the timer for?” Eva looked up at her, and Kate’s anxiety went through the roof. _It’s going to be okay. It’s okay. Everything’s fine. Everything’s fucking great. Just chill._

“I- um. Going home. My dad said I had to be back by dinner.” Kate sighed, fiddling with Eva’s hoop earrings, trying to distract herself.

“Ah.” Eva looked forward to the TV, giving Kate’s leg a slight squeeze. Kate assumed it was supposed to be reassuring, but it only made her painfully aware that she would have to leave soon. She would have to leave Eva. And the leftovers of that _fucking delicious_ Spanish tortilla.

A deafening silence filled the room, and Kate looked down at the ground. Eventually, her phone went off again, the snooze timer expiring.

“So, do you want me to drive you, then?” Eva asked, trailing her hands up her back. Kate felt Eva’s arms hold her close, and she wished she could stay with Eva for longer. _You know that can’t happen. Plus, Jamie is here for break, right? I can’t just leave him at home. Who am I kidding, he wouldn’t care. Fuck._

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Kate shook Eva off of her, getting up and going back to grab her things. _Goddamnit Kate, you’re getting attached again. I mean, it’s a little different this time, but who knows what shit could happen out of nowhere?_

Gathering her stuff, Kate trailed behind Eva, walking downstairs. _What if it’s weeks before we see each other again? What if it's months? W-_

“Hey, are you okay?” Kate came back to focus as Eva moved to hold her hand.

“Wha- oh. Yeah, I’m fine, just worried, I guess.” She tried to force a smile.

“Honestly, I’m a little worried too. Do you want to talk about it?” Eva tilted her head to the side.

“No, not really.” Kate shrugged, “I should just get home.”

“Okay.” From the expression on her face, Eva was clearly concerned.

_Oh great, now I’ve gotten her worried because of me. Fuck my life._ Kate tried to push down the rest of her shitty emotions for the sake of Eva’s comfort. _Breaking down again is the last thing she needs._

Kate watched as Eva peeked through the door to the workshop. “Hey, Mom, I’m going to drop Kate off.”

“Okay, make sure you don’t crash into any shopping carts!” Her mom yelled back over the motor, Lena cackling from behind the desk in response.

“That was one time, argh. Lena, don’t look at me like that, my god, you’re not helping.” Eva sighed, closing the door and leading Kate out.

Walking to the car, Kate turned to look at her. “A shopping cart? Really?”

“Not just _a_ shopping cart.” Eva cringed, clearly embarrassed. “You know those racks they have in parking lots? One of those. Um.”

“ _Damn,_ my arsenal of driving mistakes just shit their pants.”

“Yeah, it was bad. Although it wasn’t super bad, my mom literally _fixes cars_ for a living. We all had to work a lot of shifts to pay the loss, though.”

“Oh.” _Right, she can’t really afford a free pass from her parents, can she? Shit, I’m such a terrible person._

Kate watched as Eva started up the car, driving down the street and weaving through the streets of the city. Breaking the awkward silence, Kate spoke, “I just wanted to say, uh, thank you, Eva. This was honestly really fun.”

“Oh! Well, I mean, thank _you,_ I had the best time. Maybe we can schedule a date or something later on?” Kate could see the heat rising in Eva’s cheeks, and it was the most adorable thing. _God, I don’t deserve her._

“Making the first move, are you?” Kate smirked, leaning back in her seat.

“I- I, uh, um. Yes? Maybe?” Eva smiled, blushing even harder.

“There’s a library café place near my house, or I could take you out for dinner, something like that?” Kate smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You don’t have to take _me_ out, I can pay-”

“Yeah, as much as I appreciate your commitment, I will fucking, uh, be mean to you before I let you pay for anything.” Kate tried to act assertive, but it came out more cheesy, and they both broke down laughing.

“Sure. I’d really like to go out with you.” Eva’s face lit up, and Kate beamed in response.

“Great!” Kate said in a theatrical voice, both of them dissolving into giggles, “So, café or dinner? There’s also a cat café downtown, which is super cute, if you’re not allergic or anything.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a cat café, but from what I’ve seen, it sounds pretty fun.” She paused and drove in silence for a bit, thinking. “Sure! Let’s do the cat café.”

“Okay!” Kate rubbed her hands in excitement.

As Eva turned into Kate’s neighborhood, she pulled up to the driveway of Kate’s house. “This is your place, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Eva.”

“No problem. I’ll figure out when I’m free, and I’ll text you, okay?”  
  


Kate nodded and gave Eva a quick kiss on the cheek, waving goodbye. Stepping out of the car and walking to the double front doors, fishing out a key, and unlocking them, Kate watched Eva drive away, lovestricken and bubbly.

“So, someone told me you have a _girlfriend_ now~” Jamie appeared behind her, causing Kate to almost jump in surprise.

“Wha- Who told you that?” Kate glared at him, crossing her arms.

“I lost twenty bucks because you two fucked, either that, or Sandy was lying.” Jamie laughed, the blood leaving his face when he noticed Kate’s death glare. “Sorry, sorry. I won’t tell Dad, if that’s any consolation?”

Kate sighed, “Oh, she’s part of your geek squad. Whoa, wait a sec, _Lena_ is Sandy? Like, the one girl you talk about all the time-”

“SHHHHHHHHHUT. UP.” Jamie covered Kate’s mouth, blushing like crazy.

“Oh shiiiiiiiiii-”

“Shut up-”

“Make me.” Kate laughed, scooping Muffin up from the ground where he stood, “But I get dibs on Eva first. When we’re married, _you’re_ going to have to face the incest problem.”

“Strong words from someone who’s dated her for a _day._ ” Jamie smirked, pushing up his glasses.

“Strong words from someone who hasn’t even told _anyone_ about your crush, let alone ask her out.” Kate stuck out her tongue. Dropping Muffin and taking off her boots, she patted Jamie on the shoulder as she walked past to the shoe rack.

“Touché, you fucking chocolate wafer.”

“Watch what you’re saying, or I might _actually_ poison the milk this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newer readers might be thinking, 'Hey! Why are there plot holes? Did I miss something?'. There used to be another chapter before this one, but it was smut. I have asked Preston Max Allen if explicit content is okay with these characters after I wrote and posted the chapter, and he has said no to any explicit content of the characters at any age or situation. All you need to know is that they frick-fracked, it was pretty rad, etc., etc.
> 
> I just wanted to say to everyone who has left a comment or kudos, or even just read a little, it means so much to me to see all of you enjoying what I write. Seriously, I am running out of ways to say thank you. (Other than writing more, of course.)
> 
> As always, feedback and date ideas requested. (I've gotten some awesome ones from you all and a few bouncing around my brain, but I'm always in need of more.) Also, if there are any typos or anything that I've missed, feel free to let me know and I'll fix them. I'm notorious for missing simple formatting things, and my brain isn't the best at fishing them out.
> 
> Thanks!!


	5. Cat Café

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was suggested by thatboleyngirlreads! My very first comment! I hope I didn't disappoint, I've never actually been to a cat café, and quarantine means that I can't actually go and experience one.
> 
> As some may have noticed, the portion with the sleepover all had "first" in the title. I've decided to mix it up a bit! Cats for all!

_Okay. White socks or black socks? It doesn’t really matter, does it? Just pick one. Pick one. White. No, maybe black? Ugh. Pick one. They’re just socks, Kate. PICK A FUCKING COLOR._

Kate had spent the past couple hours getting ready for her date with her girlfriend Eva, sifting through the dozens of flannels crowding her closet, curling her hair, and stressing out over _everything._ Eventually, she had settled on a purple flannel and gray shirt underneath, and although she had a hard time deciding whether she felt more confident in her pair of black distressed jeans or her regular black pair, she had figured out a perfect balance of color to keep her worries at bay. Most of them, anyway.

_Black socks it is. What if I’m wearing too much black? Well, I can wear my white scarf, I guess that’ll work. I’m really overthinking this, aren’t I?_

Eva had kept her word, texting her back an hour after dropping her off after the sleepover, and Kate almost jumped with joy at the fulfilled promise, something that didn’t happen as often anymore. Kate had been constantly tied to her phone, texting Eva every extra second she had, and her little fangirl self was thriving. After break, Kate and Eva were joined at the hip, spending every class they had together talking, and Eva was definitely carrying Kate through math at that point. But, Kate did get to throw all of her random knowledge on art and history out there, and boy, it felt good to show it off.

Now, it was the weekend, and in just a few moments, they were going out to a cat café. Kate was fucking _hyped._ Also anxious out of her mind, but hyped nonetheless. Grabbing her bag from her bed, Kate slipped downstairs, glancing at the clock. _11:09. Okay, enough time to feed Muffin before I go._

Putting her bag next to the front door, triple checking to make sure everything was good, she took out the cat food from the pantry and shook it around, Muffin crashing through the pile of clutter on the counter, bounding over to her. After filling his food and water bowls, Kate stood to the side to let her cat eat, flipping idly through a book as she waited for Eva to arrive.

Hearing the footsteps from outside the door, Kate opened it the second after she heard the bell ring. She was greeted by a very, very cute (and really _fucking adorable_ ) Eva, in her signature jean jacket, holding a small bouquet of flowers.

“Hi, Katie!” Eva beamed, as bright as the sun, holding the flowers out towards her.

_Katie. It’s so nice when she says it._ Kate’s brain short circuited. “You- You got me flowers. I-” Taking them carefully from Eva’s hands, she almost started to tear up. “Thanks, Eva.” She pulled her into a tight hug.

“Oh-” She heard Eva murmur in surprise, wrapping her arms around her lower back.

“Aw, I wish I had gotten you something now, this is so nice.” _She’s so fucking cute, oh my-_

“Stop it, you’re going to make me blush. And you don’t have to at all, I just thought it would be nice to give you something.” Kate could see shades of pink rise onto Eva’s cheeks. Giving her girlfriend a quick kiss, she grabbed her bag from the doorway.

Walking out and locking the door behind her, she took Eva’s hand as they walked blissfully down the driveway to the car. Opening the passenger door, Eva stepped aside to let her in, bowing, and Kate tried to hold back a laugh in response.

After they got in and Eva started the car, Kate gave directions to the café as they drove through the dense streets of the city. Eventually, they arrived, parking a block away and walking over. Feeling Eva reach for her hand as they walked, Kate started to get a little flustered, muttering under her breath as she leaned into her, their hands intertwining. A little worried about people looking at them weird or being mean, Kate tried to quell the small amount of panic rising from her core.

Reaching the door, Kate lunged forward to hold it open before Eva could, knowing full well that she probably looked ridiculous. It was all worth it to see Eva’s face though as she stepped through the door, glowing and beautiful and absolutely _perfect._

_What did I do to deserve her? I swear, I’m the luckiest person alive._

~~~

_She beat me to it, I was going to hold the door first._

Walking into the café, Eva was greeted by the most adorable black cat, sitting on a perch near the door, wide eyes staring at her as she walked in. _¡Qué mono es ese gati-_

Eva heard Kate walk in behind her, the cold winter air flowing through the room as the door closed, and the tinkling of its bell brought her away from the adorable kitten trance. Trailing behind as they walked to the counter, she looked around at the cats, the décor, the food in the display case, _Kate’s ass._ (Just for a second, it probably wasn’t obvious. Probably.)

After a moment of discussing, they ordered and settled down by a table in the corner, a fluffy calico draping over the windowsill next to it. Eva squealed with joy, rushing over to pet the cat, pulling Kate along behind her. Glancing over at the tag of the collar, it read, “Holly”.

“ _KATE. LOOK._ ” Eva whispered, giggling as she slid over to sit next to it.

“Yes, there’s a cute cat. That’s kinda the whole point of this place, Eva.” Sitting down next to her in the booth, Kate leaned over to scratch behind Holly’s ears.

“Oh, stop being so stone cold, look how _cute_ they are!” Eva cooed as the cat leaned into her hand, and she heard Kate giggle behind her.

“I didn’t know you liked cats this much, holy shit.”

“Shhh. We are in a cat café, a place too innocent for your terrible language to be used.” Eva leaned over to shush her, giving her a quick kiss before returning her attention to the cat.

“This is America, I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

“I swear, Katie, I will _end_ you. Shut up.” Hissing in response, Eva yelped when Holly jumped onto her shoulder, wobbling from the weight.

“Make me.” Kate crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow as Eva felt blood rush to her cheeks. _Aha- God, strike me dead._

“I- I would, but I have better things to do with my time.” Eva faked a pretentious scoff, bringing her hands up to scoop the cat into her arms.

“Ouch, I’m devastated.” She looked up as their food was served, “Oh, thank you.” Kate nodded to the waiter, picking up the small bag of cat treats from the tray. “Here, gimme a kiss, and I’ll give you the treats for the cat.”

“Thinking you can buy my love? How dare you.”

“I can’t buy _your_ love, but I can buy theirs.” She retaliated, pulling out a treat. Holly immediately slid out of Eva’s grasp, rushing over to sit on Kate’s lap, pawing at the treat.

“Noooooooooooooooo, gimme the cat, Katie, please?”

“Kiss me first.” Kate giggled, petting the cat.

“You’re an ass, you know that?” She sighed, giving Kate a quick peck on the lips. Kate handed the treats over without protest, and Holly jumped back over onto Eva’s lap.

“I know.” Kate smiled, passing a croissant to her. “I would try to say something smooth, but I’m really too awkward, so enjoy your bread moon, uh, baby cabbage.” She patted Eva on the back, scooting closer to pet Holly.

“ _Cabbage?_ ”

Kate paused. “It makes more sense in French.”

“Yeah, I figured something like that. I didn’t know you were French, though.” Eva put the cat treats down, biting into the croissant.

“I’m not really, I just have family there, so my dad spews baguette.”

“That’s like saying I speak tortilla.” Eva snorted, trying to hold back a laugh.

“You speaking tortilla is _hot,_ you should do it more often.” Kate laughed, beaming as she briefly sipped her cappuccino.

“ _Tienes una hermosa sonrisa_.” Eva mumbled, humoring her, blushing as she took her hand.

“Ah! No idea what that means, but I’m _so_ gay for it.” Kate giggled, using her free hand to cover her cheeks, which were tinged pink, in contrast to Eva, who was as red as a cherry.

Kate urged her to try and say random things in Spanish, which, frankly, Eva was _very_ rusty with, slipping up with almost all the grammar. _Yeah, if Mom was here, I’d get fucking grilled._ After a while of doing that, eating their food, they spent some time cuddling Holly, taking turns feeding her treats, until they eventually came to the last one in the bag.

“Last one. You can have it, Eva.” Kate took it out of the bag, pushing the last treat towards her.

“Oh, no, you can have it if you want.” Eva really wanted to feed Holly the last treat, if she was being honest with herself, but pushed it back to Kate anyways.

“You sure?” Kate looked at her, and Eva could spot the telltale signs of concern written across her face. “I _have_ a cat, I can literally do this any time.”

“Here, you can get Holly to walk over to you, and I can feed them.” Eva picked up the treat, pressing against Kate, who was making the most _adorable_ face as she beckoned the cat over. Holly immediately hopped into her arms, sniffing her hand, and they both watched them eat the treat out of Eva’s palm.

“Aw, you’re a good kitty, aren’t you? You’re the most _fluffy, precious kitty-_ ” Kate cooed, scratching behind the cat’s ears, giggling.

“Wow, you’re gone soft. A few hours ago, I was _scared_ of you.” Eva laughed, reaching over to run her fingers through Holly’s fur.

“Oh, and petting a cat makes me _less_ scary?” Scowling, Kate scratched under the cat’s chin.

“...Yes?”

“Ugh, fine, but I’d like to see you keep a straight face in the presence of this _little cutie fluffy wuff-_ ” Kate turned to look down and pet the cat even more enthusiastically than she was before.

“Kaaaaaate, you’re making me jealous.” 

“Well, I don’t have to stop myself from fucking the _cat_ in public. Plus, if you want more attention, my family was planning to go out for Italian tonight, so the house is empty~” Kate winked, cackling as Eva’s ears turned red. _She- What? She’s so forward._

“Yeah, I, uh… Why are they leaving you home, though?”

“Oh, it’s all gluten, and everyone else _loves_ it, so they go without me.”

After chatting for a bit and giving Holly lots of attention, they both decided they had taken the spot for long enough. Saying goodbye to Holly, Kate giving them one last floofy pet, they got their things and moved outside, the staff smiling at them as they walked out.

“So, my house?” Kate cocked her head to the side, swinging their hands back and forth as they walked to the car.

“Yes, _please._ ” Eva blushed when she heard Kate giggle in response.

_How is she so awesome? Like, how is it possible for a single person to be so amazing and sweet and, just, kill me now, I’m so happy._

~~~

_I invited her to my house. How did I do that? I don’t really have an answer. I guess Eva makes me feel more confident? But not angry-confident, like usual. Hm. Something to think about, I guess._

Kate sat in the passenger seat, staring at Eva’s jawline as she drove them back home. _I wish I could kiss her right now. Can you get a hickey on your jawline? I have to look this up at some point._ She brought out her phone notes and typed it down, remembering it for later. _Shit, I’m blushing so much._

Eventually, after a few minutes, they arrived at Kate’s large suburban house, and she automatically felt mortified at its size compared to Eva’s. _I’ve been thinking about this for too long, right? That’s what Darcy said. Shit, I didn’t even think about how I have a therapist and Eva can’t even afford school, or gas, or a cat, or-_

“Are you okay? You spaced out again.” Kate saw Eva look at her, and she realized she must’ve been standing like this for a while.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine, sorry.” Frantically waving and apologizing, she unlocked the door, motioning for Eva to enter first.

_Fuck, let’s pray that I don’t have another mental breakdown while she’s over, that’d be so embarrassing._ Staring at Eva as she entered, she blushed when she realized that she’d been looking long enough for her to notice. _And maybe pray that we can make out a bit before she goes home._ She tore her eyes away, looking down at the handle as she closed the front door. _Now I know what being a disaster gay feels like._

Following Eva and closing the door behind her, Kate tried to quiet the wave of anxiety that washed through her. Although, if she was being honest with herself, the anxiety was welcomed, as she felt that having a breakdown would probably be less embarrassing than being rejected by Eva in one way or another.

“Wow, your house is really nice.” Eva stared up at the high ceilings, jumping when Muffin began walking between her legs. “AH- Oh, look at how _adorable_ you are, aw.” She reached down to pet him, giggling.

“His name’s Muffin.” Kate bent down next to Eva to scratch behind his ears. After a while of petting, Muffin ran off, leaving them standing in the entryway. “So, do you want the grand tour?”

“Sure, if you want, as long as we end up in your room.” Eva laughed as Kate stammered, trying to come up with an appropriate response.

“Pfft, are you trying to get into my pants?” Kate crossed her arms, walking her through the downstairs portion of her house.

“Maybe.” Eva’s cheeks were bright red, as usual.

“Okay, well, bathrooms are over there.” Kate pointed to the stretch in next to the living room. “Oh, and there’s a few upstairs, obviously. That’s kinda it, other than the bedrooms. Oh, and the office. And the reading nook, I guess.” There was a pause, both of them avoiding eye contact and leaning closer to each other. “Want to see my room now?”

“Yeah. Okay.” Eva was trying to cover her blushing face, which was the cutest thing. “Lead the way.”

Kate grabbed Eva’s hand, the both of them rushing upstairs and crossing the hallway to her room, which was decked out in her usual half-done spray painted mural on one wall, the pride flag on the other. She had cleaned up a little that morning to address her nerves, but flannels of all colors were still strewn about all over. At least they looked aesthetically pleasing.

“Well, I mean, we’ve got _hours_ before my family gets home, so uh, what do you want to do?” Kate put the tips of her hands in her jean pockets, trying to act at least somewhat confident and not like a horny gay mess.

“I mean. Um. Can we? We don’t have to if you don’t want to, sorry, I’m just really, y’know.” Eva stepped forward and put her hands on Kate’s hips, blushing almost as hard as Kate was.

_Holy fuck, what happened, we literally were petting cats, like, twenty minutes ago. Well, I’m not complaining._ “I want to.” Kissing her, Kate tangled her hands into Eva’s hair, trying not to struggle and laugh when Eva tickled her side.

“Stop it! Oh, fuck you, Eva.” Kate tackled her as Eva let up, pinning her down to the floor, but that didn’t stop Eva from tickling her again. Eventually, when Kate’s ears were pink and she had found a way to pin Eva’s hands away from her torso, they kissed again, both of them laughing as Muffin slipped through the open door and sat on top of Kate’s back. _My son is a cockblock, I’m so proud._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Because school is starting up soon, chapters from now on will take much, much longer to write, unfortunately. 
> 
> Also, I am not fluent in Spanish in any way, shape, or form, and all of it comes from a lot of double-checking internet sources, so if I'm getting something wrong, I'm always up to learn more. (And I don't want to offend anyone.)
> 
> Requests? Date ideas? Weird thoughts? Criticism? Tell me! Comments are my heroin.
> 
> Thank you!


	6. Cat's Cradle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self-harm described and shown in detail.
> 
> Are you ready for the angst?  
> I'm not.

Kate broke the kiss with Eva as she felt Muffin leap onto her shoulder from her desk, watching Eva’s face go from blissful to mortified in a matter of seconds.

“Can’t even escape from the cats at my  _ house,  _ huh?” Kate laughed, Muffin sliding down into her arms.

“Oh- I mean. I don’t mean to be rude, but can you maybe move Muffin the  _ fuck _ away from your room? Uh, sorry.” Eva was as red as a beet, shrinking back in embarrassment.

“Wow,  _ I  _ can’t swear around the cats in the café, but  _ you  _ can swear at my  _ son? _ ” Kate feigned offense, laughing even harder as Eva began apologizing to not only her, but Muffin as well.

_ She’s too pure for this world, my god. _

“So I would like to politely request that you remove yourself from the room, Señor Muffin, and that you respect our privacy for the duration of my humble visit. Uh, was that good? How do you use humble in that situation?” Eva giggled as Kate lifted Muffin’s paw to shake hands with her.

“I have no clue, but it sounded good, so Señor Muffin will be departing now.” She walked to the doorway and dropped Muffin outside of it, closing and locking the door behind her.

“Now, um. Where were-” Eva squealed in surprise as Kate grabbed her and pushed her against the wall, laughing. Kate was mesmerized, looking at Eva’s face, the way it was looking back at her in awe.

_ I’m kind of flattered, but it’s not real, right? Even if it is, I can’t- I won’t, I won’t get attached. Ugh, it’s too late for that. Why can’t I just relax for once? I want to enjoy this. _

“Kate?” Coming back to her senses, she realized that she had slumped into Eva’s shoulder, and when she pulled back, Eva lifted her face to brush the tears out of Kate’s eyes.

_ Shit. Not again. Ugh, why can’t I be just fucking normal for once? ‘Oh, well Kate, nobody’s normal-’ _

“God, I’m such a mess. I’m sorry.” Eva pulled her back onto her shoulder, and Kate tried not to sob as Eva walked her over to the bed, plopping her on some pillows and sitting next to her.

“Kate, you haven’t done anything wrong. And if it’s any consolation, I’m a mess too.” Kate looked up and saw Eva smile, and she took a breath in.

“Thanks, Eva.” Kate tried to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks, “You’re too good for me.”

“Oh, bullshit.” Eva pulled Kate’s hair away from her face, kissing her forehead. “Here.” Kate heard the door squeak open, and Eva carried Muffin over, placing him into her lap.

_ Again, too pure for this world, too good for me. Fuck. _

~~~

_ I hope she’s okay. _ “Is there anything I can do to, um. Do you want to rant for a bit, or talk, or something? I’m not really sure how to help.” Eva scratched the back of her neck, sitting back down next to Kate, who was sniffling, clearly trying to calm down faster than what was possible.

“No, I just-” Kate’s breath was hitching, and Eva worried she was almost hyperventilating from the frequency of it.

“Hey, hey, breathe with me,” Eva wrapped her arms around her as Kate leaned into her chest, Muffin purring in her arms.

After Kate had grounded herself enough to form a coherent sentence, Muffin squirmed out of her arms and lept out of the room.

“I’m-” Kate sighed, “I’m just worried that you might leave me. Like everyone else.”

“Kate-” Eva looked at Kate’s shaking body, and she almost wanted to cry with her. “I have no intention of leaving you. You’re my girlfriend, and I’m not just going to pop out of existence.”  _ Oh. Wait, her best friend (Girlfriend? Cairo said that. Kate hasn’t really talked about her.) literally popped out of existence. Shit. _ Eva’s thoughts must’ve been shown through her face, because Kate laughed darkly, pulling her into a hug.

“I really hope you don’t pop out of existence, Eva.” She went quiet, and Eva could feel Kate’s hands get a little colder.

“I hope so too.” Watching Kate’s chest rise, Eva shifted over to wrap her legs around her before quickly jumping back. “Wait, am I violating your space? Do I make your anxiety worse by hugging you? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or-”

“Eva.” Kate laughed, pulling her closer. “If you were making me uncomfortable, I would tell you. And probably prematurely kicked your ass.” Eva turned bright red as Kate kissed the crook of her neck.

“Please don’t beat me up, Kate. I don’t want my ass kicked any time soon.” Eva started to crack up as Kate wiggled her eyebrows in response.

“I’ll try not to.” Kate paused, and Eva took a second to look at her.

_ She’s so beautiful, and look at her eyes, holy shit, they’re like pools of honey, and her smile is so perfect and amazing and I just- _

“Aw, you’re cute when you’re flustered.” Kate laughed as Eva immediately pulled a sheet completely over her head, squealing in embarrassment.

“No! No, I’m not.” Eva yelled, her voice muffled by the comforter.

“Yeah, I beg to differ.” Eva scowled as Kate lifted up the blanket, which caused her to laugh, “Yep. Absolutely  _ adorable. _ ”

“I’m not adorable, I’m- No! Stop it!” She scowled as she heard Kate’s muted laugh.

“Fine.” Kate smiled, pulling the blanket off, much to Eva’s feigned dismay. “You want dinner? There’s probably leftovers, or I could make something.”

“What do you want to do?” Eva pulled the blanket back, wrapping it around herself.

“Whatever, honestly. I’ve eaten a lot more rice-based things lately. Something like that?” Kate cocked her head to the side, Eva nodding in response. “Are you cold? You look kinda cold. Do you want one of my flannels or something?”

Eva wasn’t super cold, but she  _ definitely _ wanted to wear one of Kate’s flannels. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Eva was beaming as Kate handed her a blue flannel from her closet, holding it out as she slid her arms inside.

_ Holy shit, her clothes smell like Christmas. Pine? Nutmeg? I have no idea. _

After a moment of blissful silence, Kate led Eva back downstairs and peered in the fridge, pulling out ingredients and whipping up food for the both of them. Eva was pleasantly surprised, she didn’t know Kate could cook, and the jumble of random things she had made were really nice all together. After they finished, Eva helped Kate put the dishes in their dishwasher and they went to the base of the stairs, stopping to feed and pet Muffin on the way.

Walking next to each other up the stairs, which were super wide and, frankly, kind of disorienting, they reached Kate’s room. Kate immediately grabbed a pillow and threw it at Eva, catching her off guard as she stumbled backwards.

“Why would you- You know what? Sure, why not.” Eva laughed, grabbing the pillow and tackling Kate onto the bed.

“Ah- fuck-” Kate, being smothered with a pillow, grabbed the one next to her, whacking Eva as she rolled out from under her. Grabbing a second pillow, she batted Eva back, laughing as she squealed in response.

After a couple minutes of hitting each other with the various pillows on Kate’s bed, Eva was getting a little tired, Kate still fighting relentlessly.

“Okay, okay, I surrender-” Eva said, massaging her sore arms as Kate giggled, dropping the pillows off the side of the bed.

“I win! Yes! Next time you tease me, I’m just going to whack you with a pillow, see how that goes.” Laughing, she pushed Eva down onto the bed, kissing her.

“You’re just going to bring a pillow with you all the time, yeah?”

“Of course.” Kate smirked, laying down to her side to cuddle.

_ How would she bring a pillow everywhere? Like- what size- oh my god, she’s kissing me. _

**  
  
**

~~~

_ The fact that she’s wearing my flannel make it 100% more awesome, but I am so fucking gay for Eva, holy shit. She’s wearing my flannel. She is. And WHY IS SHE SO GODDAMN HOT- _

Kate’s new regularly scheduled Eva obsession time, which now coincided with the regularly scheduled after-dinner worry session, was briefly interrupted as she remembered that Eva was  _ right there,  _ and Kate was literally pressed against her.

“Hey.” Kate said, resting her chin on her arms and glancing at the clock, “So. We’re alone for a while, what should we do?”

Eva immediately turned red as Kate giggled, giving her another kiss.

“Uh- I mean. Um.” Eva stammered, clearly reluctant to say something.

“Hm.”

Eva blushed, covering her face. “Uh, can we go over the quiz we took last time? Do you still have it?”

“Actually, I think so. We talked about almost everything else, I completely forgot about it.” Kate grabbed her laptop and turned it on, trying to push down the twinge of  _ fucking teenage hormones with a side of horn _ that flared up inside her.

Eva peeked over her shoulder as she found the quiz results, which Kate had stored away in a private folder.  _ Thank God I remembered, something useful actually came out of it. _

Scanning through them, Kate looked at the results, discussing them with Eva. It was very awkward at the beginning, but they managed to talk about nearly everything on the list.

“You’re totally a power bottom in denial, you know that, right?” Eva laughed, swatting away Kate, who was swatting her away in response.

“Ach- I’m a top, Eva.” Kate was blushing as she scooted her laptop off her lap and moved it to the bedside table.

“All lies have an expiration date~” Pushing the both on them on to the bed, Eva smiled.

“Stop quoting me, it makes it harder to argue with, dumbass.” Kate tried not to smile back as she guided Eva’s hands under her shirt.

“You didn’t say you  _ weren’t  _ a bottom, so I mean-” Eva giggled.

“I just  _ said _ I was a top!”

“Katie, you can be both, you know.” Tugging on Kate’s shirt, Eva lifted it over her head and extended arms, throwing it to the side.

“I-” Kate paused as Eva sat up quickly, and it took her a second to realize where she was looking.

_ Shit. SHIT. No, no, no- no, fuck- _

~~~

Eva stared at Kate’s midriff, her eyes glancing between them all. Lines.  _ Scars. _ Eva thought, it seemed fairly obvious, but she desperately wanted to believe that they were anything else.  _ There’s so many. _ Some of them were long, some short. A couple of them seemed fairly recent, probably a few weeks old.

“Eva, I’m sorry, I just didn’t-” Kate put her hands up to protect herself, as if she expected Eva to hurt her.

“Kate, I-” Eva stared in disbelief, trying to figure out what to say. She took a breath, relaxing her shoulders. “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

“Yes, I do, Eva.” Kate sat up, leaning against the headboard, “I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell anyone. I should’ve asked for help or something.” She sighed, bringing her knees up to her chest.

“Well, it’s not too late, is it?”

“What do you mean ‘it’s not too late’? Look at me!” Kate huffed, burying her face in her arms. “I’m a fucking horrible person.”

“Kate, cutting yourself doesn’t automatically make you a horrible person.” Eva tried to take one of Kate’s hands in hers, but she pulled away.

“Stop trying to make me feel better.” Kate growled, looking down. Eva could see the tears streaming down her face.

Eva curled up next to her, scooting enough that their hips were barely touching. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Mmmph.” Kate sobbed into her arms, leaning into Eva’s side.

Eva reached over to rub Kate’s back as she cried, and after a few minutes, Kate spoke.

“I was already sad before all that happened with Chess. Not horrible, but…” Kate sighed, “Not good either.”

“I see.” Eva gave a nod of understanding, grabbing a tissue box from the side and helping Kate wipe away her tears.

“And I had this fear, this- this feeling,  _ I knew, _ she was going to leave me, and I was so scared. I didn’t want her to just get up and move on without me, she was my best friend.” Kate sighed, blowing her nose. 

“And then the sleepover happened?” Eva scooted Kate onto her lap.

“And then she left me-  _ she died, _ before I was ready, before I could say goodbye-” Kate, starting to choke up, blew her nose again. “The last time I saw her alive, we were fighting. Our last conversation was about her  _ stupid fucking drug problem. _ I couldn’t do anything about it, in the end. She lied to me, lied to everyone, just to make us happy.”

_ Shit, this is all new information, huh? It’s good that she’s not bawling her eyes out now, I suppose. _

“What was she addicted to?”  _ Oooh-  _ Eva cringed,  _ that was probably a bit of a sensitive thing to bring up. Fuck. _

“Vicodin.  _ Fucking pain pills.” _ Kate sighed. “It was my fault, you know.”   
  


Eva stayed silent, brushing Kate’s hair from her face so she could continue if she wanted.

“We were both on the balance beam, playing this stupid game. I made it up. There wasn’t anything under us, and she slipped and fell on her leg and-” She went silent, the last remaining bit of color draining from her face.

“It wasn’t your fault, Kate. You didn’t want that, it was an accident.”

“That doesn’t make it  _ not  _ my fault, she lost her chance at an Olympic medal, at her fucking  _ life _ .”

“Sure, a series of events led up to that, but you weren’t the sole cause, Kate. You don’t deserve all that blame.” Eva touched her cheeks, finding a few tears rolling down, and she took a tissue from Kate’s tissue box to wipe them up.

Kate huffed, breath still repeatedly hitching from crying. Eva saw her glance down to her stomach, which was still exposed. “I deserve some of it, though.”

“No, Kate, you deserve  _ none. _ You didn’t push her off, you didn’t prescribe those pills, you didn’t stab her to death.” Kate flinched as Eva spoke, “And even if you did, why are you damaging yourself for it? What good does that do? It doesn’t solve anything.” Eva’s voice was soft, but from the looks of it, Kate didn’t take those words well.

“You don’t know what I’ve been through. Stop pretending like you do.” Kate snapped, moving herself from Eva’s lap and onto the other side of the bed.

“Then stop pretending you’re the bad guy. You’re not, Katie.” There was a pause, where both waited for the other to speak. “Please, promise me you’ll at least try.”

“I-” Kate looked up at her, and Eva could see her eyes waver. “I don’t-”

“Don’t do it for my sake. If you’re blaming yourself so much, this is the chance to redeem yourself, to make amends. Do it for her.” Eva gestured for her to come closer, and Kate slid into her arms, giving her hand a tight squeeze.

“I’ll try.” She sighed. “For Chess.”

_ I hope I didn’t fuck this up. _ “For Chess.” Eva nodded in response, looking into Kate’s eyes.

“Hey, so, uh-” Kate murmured, giving Eva a kiss.

“Hm?”

“Wanna fuck now?”

“Kate, what the hell.”

“What? I’m trying not to be the bad guy, so as far as you’re concerned, I’m doing perfectly fine.” Kate laughed as Eva felt her cheeks heat up.

“I- God, you’re such a horndog.” Eva smiled, pulling her hair up. She almost jumped when Kate grabbed her face and kissed her, wrapping a hand around the base of her ponytail and pulling her head back.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy heckadoodle that was a rollercoaster both in writing and reading. Hope you all enjoyed. :3
> 
> Feedback and cute date ideas/prompts are very much encouraged in the comments! I want to improve at writing and make it an enjoyable experience for all of you.
> 
> Some of you might remember there was a smut chapter that was posted directly after this one. I have taken it down per PMA's wishes, and will not be writing any more smut of WATT characters in the future.
> 
> Thanks!!


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